PLEASE EXPLAIN HATING FAMILY AND EVEN SELF

Gary McDade

It is peculiar that Jesus would teach disciples to love their enemies (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27) and to hate their family and even themselves. Yet, He said, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). Any misapprehension regarding this teaching is laid to rest by understanding the point of Jesus teaching here is that disciples must love family and self less than they love the Lord Jesus Christ.  His use of an apparent contradiction cries out for an explanation and does not let the point of the teaching evaporate so quickly from the mind of the hearer. The Lord employed a tool of language known as the paradox where a statement appears self-contradictory upon first blush but upon closer examination a deeper truth actually is revealed.

In one of my favorite books of all time, *Alleged Bible Contradictions Explained,* the late George W. DeHoff commented on this enigma by stating, “In Luke 14:26 the word ‘hate’ simply means to love less. The man who loves his father or mother, or wife more than he loves the Lord cannot be the Lord’s disciple. We are to love our kindred but we are to love them less than we do the Lord. A better way to say it is that we love God more than we do husband or wife, son or daughter—yea, more than our own lives” (p. 165).

In a comment earlier in the book brother DeHoff had explained, “The word hate is used here in the sense of ‘to love less.’ Jacob loved two wives, yet it is stated that he ‘hated’ one wife—that is, loved her less than the other one (Gen. 29:30-31). Jesus, our Lord declares that we must ‘hate’ father, mother, brothers, sisters, yea and our own life also to be His disciples (Lk. 14:26). The meaning is that we must love them less. When one person is preferred to another in the Bible it is simply stated that he is loved while the other is hated. God loves the whole world and desires that all men come to repentance. God is never a respecter of persons but He is and always has been a respecter of character. The proof of God’s goodness and love to all mankind is abundant on every hand.

“Further, it is generally thought that these statements have reference to the descendants of Jacob and Esau rather than to the individuals since they had both been dead for centuries when the statement was made” (p. 81).